What does it mean to "Really Love"?

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. (Romans 12:9 NLT)

I have been reflecting on the posts of the last two weeks and I can to see that insistence on loving others as a sign of discipleship carries with it a danger. One of my main themes has been to differentiate between the hypocrisy of the Pharisees in relation to the requirements of the covenant. The essence of the Pharisees’ error had been to turn God’s covenant of grace into a covenant of works. To misunderstand the free gift of salvation from God, based only on his love and compassion, as a privilege to be earned.

I think we have now a basic intellectual understanding of what it means to love others as Jesus loves them. If we have any familiarity at all with the Gospels we can see Jesus’ radical concern for those who had been tossed aside by society, even for those who abandoned and betrayed him, to the point of completely emptying himself as a sacrifice. If we have any familiarity at all with Jesus’ commands to his disciples we know that as disciples we are all called to the same level of concern and commitment as he displayed both in his life and in his death.

I suspect that is why what passes for Christianity today is really a parody of what Jesus calls us to. It is just too hard. Even the thought of giving up everything is scary. Going deeper, am I going to abandon my responsibilities at home in order to sacrifice for people I don’t even like and who don’t like me? Even if I had the slightest inclination to do so I would be ridiculed for doing it. It just doesn’t make sense. Jesus, who gave all and demands all, will have to be satisfied with a half-hearted some, even though I may dress it up emotionally to make it seem like more. If you think I am being too harsh look at what passes for sacrifice among Christians today and compare it to the price that was paid by the Apostles and the early church.

But here is the danger. If I translate the above observation to mean that because sacrificial love is required of the disciple then sacrificial love makes the disciple I have just crossed the line between grace and works. If I think that giving up everything in order to minister to the world will somehow gain me God’s favor no matter how much good I do I will remain in the same place as the first century Pharisees: participant in a transactional covenant requiring me to perform some action in order to gain (or retain) salvation. I can no more love my way into the kingdom than I can work my way in.

Well, we seem to have painted ourselves into a corner. Being a disciple of Jesus demands sacrifice, but one cannot become a disciple of Jesus by sacrifice. What are we to do then?

Let’s take another look at the big picture. Why did Jesus come? Was it not because God’s beloved creatures were trapped in a situation where their sin kept them separated from God but they could neither atone for their sin nor even stop sinning? And God in his mercy, knowing that we could never find our way, came to dwell among us, to show us the way out of the trap, to pay the price for our transgressions, and to make us righteous through him. God came to be with us (Emmanuel means “God with us”). He gave up everything to be with us (Philippians 2:6-8). And he never left us, because he gave us his Spirit to live within us (John 16:13, Acts 1:8; 2:4). So we are not doing work for Jesus, Jesus is working in and through us.

Here is where the cost of discipleship transforms from “must” to “will.” Rather than saying “In order to be a disciple of Jesus I must love” we say “Because I am a disciple of Jesus I will love.” On the human level our transformation is a process. It does not happen in a flash. But as we come more and more to trust Jesus’ Spirit, as we become more and more like him, we are compelled more and more to sacrifice as he did. Eventually we can say with Paul “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (Galatians 2:20 ESV)

To really love means to abandon ourselves to Jesus and to trust his Spirit within us. Ask him what he wants you to do and trust what he says. As our perception of his Spirit within us increases we will find ourselves doing what once seemed unthinkable. And we will do it with joy. “for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:11-13 ESV)