I know this is a cultural land mine but it is time to speak. I am much dismayed by a number of Christian so-called leaders who are jumping on the bandwagon of supporting same-sex marriage. There is no way that a Christian can be true to scripture and at the same time support so-called “gay” marriage in the Church.
I am not a bigoted neanderthal homophobe. I do not hate anyone because of their sexual orientation. I feel it is my calling not only as a Pastor but as a disciple of Christ to view everyone, especially those who differ with me, as Christ sees them. I must be willing to offer to them, even the ones who hate me, my life, as Jesus did on the cross. And for the same reason: love.
But before I am a servant of man I am a disciple of Christ. As a Protestant Christian I believe that God reveals himself to us through scripture. Proper understanding of scripture is not easy but once the clear message of scripture is understood I am bound by it. In this case, the clear message of scripture is that marriage is a union between a man and a woman. That may not be a popular observation, but it is scripturally undeniable.
Now let me qualify by saying that I am not writing about whether two people who are not Christians ought to be able to live together in any kind of relationship they choose. As a Christian leader I have no right nor do I have any intention to address the behavior of non-Christians. If the secular government decides to provide recognition, support, and protection to same sex relationships that is none of my concern. If people want to call that "marriage," fine. What I am specifically referring to is what can be sanctioned within the teachings of Christian scripture. Therefore, obviously, secular government and non-Christians have no concern for what I am writing about.
And I think it is only fair to mention that there are many people living in church-sanctioned living arrangements (marriages) that are no more holy than any relationship between two people of the same sex might be. Nor is the sin of homosexual relations a worse sin than any other sin. No one in the church can claim to be more righteous than anyone else – in or out of the church. Scripture is very clear that all humans, each and every one, are steeped in sin and can never be righteous in God’s eyes. The gospel, the “great good news,” is that what humans cannot do, Jesus did do. There is no sin that anyone can commit that can keep them from the love of Christ, because Jesus already paid the price for all sin.
And as Christians we cannot refuse fellowship with anyone who is called to the Spirit-filled life. Pastor Tim Keller of Redeemer Church in New York City observed in his book The Reason for God that if someone who calls him or herself a homosexual feels drawn to the church, the first question they ought to ask themselves is not what is the church’s stance on homosexuality but do they believe that Jesus died for their sins? If they don’t, the question about doctrine is moot. If they do, then surrendering to the Spirit will begin the process of leaving behind worldly things and becoming more Christ-like. I don’t mean to suggest that the Spirit will take “gay” people and turn them into “straight” people. I’m pretty sure no one who begins to walk the road of the Christian faith knows exactly what they will eventually have to give up in order to be a disciple, but we know in the end they will look like Christ. What is certain is that we are all called to give up everything, because this road leads through the cross.
If you are not yet a follower of Jesus, then I wish you well and I pray that he will manifest himself to you as only he can and draw you back into relationship with the Father. I mean that in all sincerity. The rest of what I have to write is for Christians.
It is common among Christians to point to Old Testament law as a basis for condemnation of homosexuality. This is wrong in at least two ways. The first way is that the Bible does not speak of “homosexuality” in the way our culture understands the term. “Homosexuality” in today’s understanding presupposes a natural, inherent sense of identity that falls somewhere on a scale between “gay” and “straight.” I am not qualified to enter the argument about whether sexual orientation is inherent (natural, i.e. “God made me this way”) or not. But I can state with certainty that gender identity is a twentieth century concept.
When the Bible speaks about homosexual acts, it means just that: homosexual acts. When the bible condemns homosexual acts as sins, it never condemns the identity of the sinner, just the sin. This may seem unimportant until you recognize that the Bible condemns any number of other acts as sinful as well. The Bible condemns sexual relations between a man and a woman outside of marriage as sinful. The Bible is not by so doing condemning heterosexuals.
A second way that trying to prove the Bible condemns homosexuality by using Old Testament law is wrong is that Jesus fulfilled the law. Most of the people talking about what the Bible says about this or that don’t really know what the Bible says about anything because they’ve missed the big story to focus on isolated phrases they can string together to support their own biases. But scripture is a unified whole that has a main subject (Jesus) and a big picture.
The big picture is that humanity fell into sin, God gave the law to the Israelites to offer them a way to atone for their sin and draw the rest of the world into salvation, the Israelites failed either to keep the law or draw anyone into salvation, and God sent Jesus to do what humans could not do. When Jesus died on the cross, he atoned for all of the sins of all people throughout all time, thus fulfilling the law. The Old Testament law is no longer in force because there is nothing left to atone for.
If you know anything about the Bible you know that the Old Testament law says, “Thou shalt…” or “Thou shalt not…” and then gives consequences for failure to comply. For example, the consequence of a child disobeying their parents is death by stoning (Deut. 21:18-21). But in the New Testament, Jesus lays out a standard of behavior and says anyone who does not live up to this standard will not enter the kingdom of God. There is no punishment specified. Jesus doesn’t say, “If someone doesn’t love their neighbor, take them out back and throw rocks at them.” There is no measure of atonement specified because all sins have already been atoned for. But if someone doesn’t love their neighbor, they cannot be thought of as in the kingdom of God, because the kingdom of God is characterized by love. So the New Testament understanding of sin is that the sin itself is the punishment, and Jesus offers a way out of sin. He offers us his life.
So then, having written all of this, on what basis am I saying that I can’t support same sex marriage in the Church? The answer could not be simpler: Jesus himself defines marriage as the union of a man and a woman (Mt. 19:4-6). There is no equivocation. There is no exception clause. Jesus’s saying here is not contradicted anywhere else in the Bible. It does not have anything to do with my opinion or your opinion or public opinion. It is the clear teaching of scripture. I may or may not like it but my preferences are inconsequential. The clear teaching of scripture is that marriage is the union of a man and a woman.
And here is at least a part of the reason. The marriage relationship is a mirror of the Trinitarian love relationship of the Godhead. We have to conclude that the activity of the marriage relationship will mirror God's activity, and God's first activity is creation. So the primary activity of the marriage relationship is creative self-sacrificing love. And that is, quite obviously, despite what our self-worshipping society insists, the purpose of sex. Marriage is intended to mirror the self-sacrificing love of the Trinity to the point that the marriage relationship, through sexual union, continues God's act of creation. This cannot happen in a same-sex relationship, no matter how much the partners love each other.
If a same sex couple came to my church and asked if they could be members of the congregation I would heartily welcome them. I would welcome them in the same way as a heterosexual couple living outside of wedlock. If they asked me what I thought about their living arrangements I would point out what scripture says about sexual relations outside of marriage.
But if two men or two women asked me if I would marry them, on the basis of what I just wrote above, I would tell them no. If three men and two women, or any other combination of men and women other than one man and one woman asked me to marry them, I would say no, for the same reason. I am sure they could find a “church” that would, but I could not in good conscience pretend that God has consecrated such a union. God himself might, but he has not indicated so anywhere in scripture, so I cannot
Any counsel on this subject I would give must be placed within the framework of the general sinfulness of fallen humanity and the concept of sanctification, or the working of the Holy Spirit in a converted person to make them more and more like Christ. It is between God and each person, in fellowship with the Spirit and the community of believers, to work out their salvation. (Phil. 2:12) It is for me only to point out the light as I have been given the ability to see it, and to love and pray for all people. And it is for us to love as Christ commands us to love, as Christ himself loved. I am sure that the love of God for you is every bit as deep as it is for me, or for any other sinner.
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